There’s a media frenzy surrounding the latest numbskull drinking fad to hit college campuses: vodka eyeballing.

Vodka eyeballing means putting an open bottle or shot glass of vodka to the eye and “taking a shot.” The idea is that it sends the alcohol swiftly to the central nervous system, inducing an almost instant buzz.

Video clips on YouTube (and there’s at least 250 of them) invariably show soused college-age students chuckling as they raise the bottle to their eyes, and then—as they feel the burn of the alcohol their corneas—they immediately yell and writhe in pain.

“Simply put, this is pretty crazy and I could easily understand how that volume of vodka would seriously irritate the surface of the eye,” says Marc D. Myers, O.D., of the Coatesville VA Hospital, Pennsylvania, and a frequent lecturer on ocular urgencies and emergencies. “Contact lens wear would not enhance the experience.”

Done once or twice, vodka eyeballing incites corneal inflammation and venous thrombosis. Done repeatedly, it could permanently scar the cornea and sclera.

Adding insult to injury, it doesn’t even work. Vodka eyeballing won’t get you drunk.

“A single shot of any alcohol making contact with the surface of the eye would have little likelihood of penetrating the surface of the globe or the adnexa in a quantity that would impact blood alcohol levels,” Dr. Myers says, drawing on years of experience.

“It is more likely that those partaking are already a little tipsy, do the eyeball shot, irritate the hell out of their cornea, feel an intense reaction (i.e., corneal irritation), have a bit of the alcohol enter their lacrimal drainage system and trickle into the back of their throat (allowing them to taste the alcohol), and feel a sense of euphoria because they are a hero to those around them.”

Is this just media hype or is it a real fad? I don’t know. Just pass me the Stoli. My eye’s thirsty.